Orange = Caller
Light Blue= Nick
Dark Blue = Action
You have a singing voice?
Yeah
I find that hard to believe you can hardly speak man- go ahead sing for us
(He sings)
Oh God, i only expected like a line, blimey theres no stopping him now, hes like a wind up toy, oh hello that was like errr umm well it sounded like ships trying to avoid each other in the fog (laughs) do you live near the coast?
I live in Port Talbot quite near the coast actually
Well if your ever short of money theyll stick you on the proud
Your most insulting but i like you
(laughs)
Come back to my problem how can i find a woman?
oh yeah (gasps)
I joined an induction thing it was a con though, £15 for 6 months they send you a list of women to write to
and how did that go?
(explains details)
Right, you dont sing down the phone to them do you?
(laughs then silence)
Oh he`s died (laughs)
Oh no he hasnt died, or maybe that was his last gasp. Have you fallen and cant get up?
Im lying down on the couch, ive smoked my brains out i cant sleep
Sounds like just by your voice you`d need heavy lifting equipment to get off the couch (Laughs)
Well i am 16 stone
16 stone?
and 6 ft 2"
Well obviously your a fine figure of a man
Pardon?
Your quite a catch (laughes) if only you could find a female walrus in Port Talbot... then
Youve called me a walrus before (silence)
Oh hes died again (laughs)
You could just open your window and shout for one, do you have a mating call?
(laughs)
Try not washing for a while because your manly odour might attract them in
I dont wash anyway
Right, I think we`ve found the problem nailed right there (laughs)
Is to be more decisive, or a new walkman
Is a Divorce who from anyone you know?
Is a big mass debate
Yeah, Lightening round please, your on it, Oh Bugger
Is a new yamaha tyros super cyber keyboard.... instrument.
Hi i want you to want me
Can i speak to Nick please its me birttthhdddaaayyyy
Is to suck one of Nick Abbots Bollards
Hello Nick allright? Can you hear me? Nick?
Good God its the mysterons
I got a bad throat
You`ve got a bad throat? (laughs)
Do you believe in the saying keep them bare foot and pregant? (laughs)
I can`t concentrate on a word your saying mate (laughs) it sounds like your trying to suck start a car (laughs) I think we`ve got Barry White on the phone, what have you been doing? Have you been eating razor blades or something?
I`ve got laryngitis
laryngitis? (laughs) i`m amazed your alive (laughs) It sounds like you`ve eaten Rod Stewart (laughs)
Do you believe in the saying keep them bare foot and pregnant? (laughs)
Amazing it was the voice of the mysterons, if the church bell sounds 13 then we`re all in trouble